"Knowing" Oneself & My GRAND INTENTIONS List:
Written on March 10, 2016
Repeatedly lately, I've hit a wall regarding what it means to know oneself. Over the past few years (and throughout my life in general), I've learned to take pride in my evolving sense of self — as, inevitably, every individual gains a greater understanding of his or her own identity as he or she matures; experiences; interacts; listens; loves; discovers; speaks up. You know all of this though; the concept of growth is as simple as it is complex. Thus, I'll get to my point...
Recently, I've been faced with many decisions — decisions that range from incredibly minute, such as choosing what kind of tea I'd like, to overwhelmingly broad, such as determining what I want to do with the rest of my life. And, my point? I'm unable to make these decisions. I'm more indecisive then ever. Simply, I don't know what I want.
Oddly, I seem to have a pretty good understanding of what I don't want. For example, it's easy for me to state that I don't like black tea and that I don't want to become an accountant living in the suburbs with a mini van, three children, and the hostess of Casserole Sunday (nothing against those people, but that lifestyle is simply not for me). Clearly, my wants and desires aren't completely unclear. However, how do I get to the point where I can be as confident in knowing what I do want as I am in knowing what I don't want?
What is my purpose? I'm talking greater than a career — I mean what is my purpose regarding life as a whole? I'm powerful, and you are too. This revelation occurs to everyone at some point or another. Sure, we're repeatedly inundated with campaigns promoting the "Power of One" and smacked across the face with sappy lessons exuded from sappy movie telling us that "You have the power to change the world!" I guess what I'm doing here is just that — perpetuating the profusion of the "You're powerful!" plug. Anyhow, the moral of my jabber: you can't force someone to experience resonance with this notion. It will happen when it happens — and when it does happen...well, watch out world. Internally, one power that is within you is the power to uncover your true self.
Eventually, one will know what they authentically want in life — what it is that will set him or her on the right path to discovering his/her purpose and uncovering his/her internal power. I'm still waiting for that day to come. Thus, in the meantime, there's no harm in exploring and trying to distinguish what I do want in an effort to hasten the process.
I'm a firm believer that keeping a "Grand Intentions List" is beneficial, as it reminds us to stay mindful of what we're working toward in life — what is important to us — what we (think we) want. Therefore, I figured I'd share my list that I put together a couple months ago; maybe it will serve as inspiration or mere entertainment for you (forewarning: it's a bit cliché at parts). Either way, why not?
What does your "Grand Intentions List" list look like?
My GRAND INTENTIONS List:
• I want to go to college/university and pursue what it is that
I am passionate about. I want to enjoy my experience and make
memories that are special to me.
• I want to make a difference in the lives of others.
• I want to find love. I want to love and be loved. I want to feel
comfortable with myself and to feel comfortable — fully — around
others, including him. I want to laugh with him; adventure
with him; live and coexist with him. I want to feel confident
and grounded enough in myself that I'm able to authentically
share part of that person — part of my soul — with him.
• I want to feel like an individual. I want to do and have
my own thing(s) — not items, but rather quirks of sorts that
represent me — not to appear a certain way to others, but
to feel like myself FOR MYSELF.
• I want to rid my life of judgement — judgement that's directed toward
both myself and others. I want to remove such negative lens
from my life altogether. I want to observe the world with
more clarity and compassion.
• I want to speak and act from the powerful place within me.
I don't want to subdue or muffle myself in order to please others,
adhere to certain standards, or "enhance my appeal."
• I want to travel. I want to go to culturally rich places that my
heart craves — Iceland; Thailand; British Columbia; New Zealand;
England; the Azores Islands; South Africa; Sweden; and so many more.
• I want to attend concerts and festivals. I want to continue
filling my life and my heart with the beauty of music. I want to
continue to experience the essence of music — its ability to transport;
induce sentiment; comfort; empower; and inspire.
• I want do what I love — whenever, wherever, and however I'd like.
I want to follow my heart. I want to live in a city; I want to go to
coffee shops; I want to work; I want to interact with interesting
individuals; I want to engage in meaningful conversations; I want to
partake in things that scare me; I want to develop connections; I want to
challenge myself; I want to give back; I want to unravel unknowns.
• I want to experience. When I am somewhere, I want to truly be there.
I want to FEEL deeply, TASTE strongly, SMELL keenly, TOUCH softly,
SEE vividly — and, lastly, I want to LIVE fully.
*Thumbnail image source=Tumblr